A strange phenomenon has been gathering momentum throughout my 20s. When I try to tell people about it they say the events in question are coincidental or that I am exaggerating. While I have been know to exaggerate a tale or two I am swearing on Chanel right now that everything I write in this post is 100% accurate.
I am Good Luck Chuck.
Well, I am a less filthy version of Good Luck Chuck.
Every guy I have seriously dated (serious enough to call my boyfriend) for the past ten years has married his next girlfriend. The very next girl they date. I can't complain, I initiated all but one of these break ups so I can't play the "why wasn't it meeeeee??" card. Seeing the engagement announcements and wedding pictures on Facebook or hearing about them through the grapevine generally don't make me sad or angry or jealous (well, maybe for a well deserved moment or two). It just feels weird that after dating me these men/boys feel the need to immediately settle down, especially since that is not on my agenda whatsoever. I am in a pretty serious relationship right now, we've been together for about three years, but I am enjoying the Kurt Russell/Goldie Hawn thing we have going on. Enough about that, you'll meet my main squeeze some other time. Let's take a look at some of the men from my past that have made me Good Luck Chuck.
Jim - I dated Jim toward the end of my senior year of high school until I went to college. While we were only together for about six months, we were extremely serious. He was a junior at a college nearby and begged me continuously to not go to school in Indiana, but to instead go to his school so we could be together. We broke up at the end of the summer and I was sad until I got to school and that adventure began. About a year later, I was hanging out with a mutual friend who informed me that he had proposed to his girlfriend. Apparently he had started dating this girl about a week after we broke up and they were madly in love.
Adam - This was my first boyfriend in college. He was a senior (so I like older men, whatever), pre-med student and he could buy me beer. He thought the relationship was much more serious than I did and I broke up with him after football season. We had very few mutual friends but I heard through the grapevine that he was just devastated and abstained from women all together for the rest of the year. Then he went to med school, met the love of his life and proposed.
Greg - We dated, off and on, throughout my college years. We got together right after I broke up with Adam (if I am going to be entirely truthful I'd have to say I broke up with Adam for Greg) and dated through the rest of my freshmen year until about Easter of my sophomore year. And then we hooked up for a while at the beginning of junior year. And then got back together for a while during senior year. Greg probably could have been The One but I guess I was too young to want to settle down with one guy (to be honest, five years later I'm still not ready to settle down). He was very bossy and had a very clear idea of what our future would look like and it wasn't really what I envisioned my future to look like.....but I won't dig any deeper. I could probably write a book on this hot mess so I'll just get back to my original point. While we 'trying to work things out' for the last time out he started seeing another girl and within a year they were engaged. This one bothered me because he was cheating on me with her and I threw up a little in my mouth when I saw the wedding pictures but I am pretty much over it now.
Danny - He was, and still is, one of the sweetest guys I have ever met. We dated for about a year and in that time period he lived with a girl I became very good friends with, Tiffany. Since I slept over there almost every night we were all very close, it was like Three's Company. Danny and I didn't work out but it was amicable and he is one of my only exes I still talk to. Shortly after our break up, Danny and Tiffany started dating and they got married earlier this summer. People were surprised I wasn't more upset when I first found out about them but they really make a much better couple than he and I ever did. I'm really happy for them.
Jay - This guy was the worst and, looking back, I can truly say that the only reason we were together is because we were there. As in, we were both living in a strange city and the only people we knew were the 50+ crowd we worked with. We dated for almost a year and then I moved back to NJ and we was going to grad school in DC. A few days after our respective moves he broke up with me claiming 'we were just in different' places blah blah blah. Shortly after that he is back in Chicago hooking up with the girl who chased him throughout our relationship, the girl he always referred to as'The Troll'. Recently he posted their engagement pictures on Facebook and it made me want to do all kinds of psycho ex-girlfriend things. However, I rose above, kept my dignity, and took consolation in that he is very fat now.
Bonus Round!
I dated John off and on all throughout high school. He was literally the boy next door, my best friend and my first love. We broke up one final time our senior year and he started dating a very good friend of mine. This is the bonus round and cannot be counted in the list above because he never proposed to her, but they dated for 8 or 9 years.
Jim - I dated Jim toward the end of my senior year of high school until I went to college. While we were only together for about six months, we were extremely serious. He was a junior at a college nearby and begged me continuously to not go to school in Indiana, but to instead go to his school so we could be together. We broke up at the end of the summer and I was sad until I got to school and that adventure began. About a year later, I was hanging out with a mutual friend who informed me that he had proposed to his girlfriend. Apparently he had started dating this girl about a week after we broke up and they were madly in love.
Adam - This was my first boyfriend in college. He was a senior (so I like older men, whatever), pre-med student and he could buy me beer. He thought the relationship was much more serious than I did and I broke up with him after football season. We had very few mutual friends but I heard through the grapevine that he was just devastated and abstained from women all together for the rest of the year. Then he went to med school, met the love of his life and proposed.
Greg - We dated, off and on, throughout my college years. We got together right after I broke up with Adam (if I am going to be entirely truthful I'd have to say I broke up with Adam for Greg) and dated through the rest of my freshmen year until about Easter of my sophomore year. And then we hooked up for a while at the beginning of junior year. And then got back together for a while during senior year. Greg probably could have been The One but I guess I was too young to want to settle down with one guy (to be honest, five years later I'm still not ready to settle down). He was very bossy and had a very clear idea of what our future would look like and it wasn't really what I envisioned my future to look like.....but I won't dig any deeper. I could probably write a book on this hot mess so I'll just get back to my original point. While we 'trying to work things out' for the last time out he started seeing another girl and within a year they were engaged. This one bothered me because he was cheating on me with her and I threw up a little in my mouth when I saw the wedding pictures but I am pretty much over it now.
Danny - He was, and still is, one of the sweetest guys I have ever met. We dated for about a year and in that time period he lived with a girl I became very good friends with, Tiffany. Since I slept over there almost every night we were all very close, it was like Three's Company. Danny and I didn't work out but it was amicable and he is one of my only exes I still talk to. Shortly after our break up, Danny and Tiffany started dating and they got married earlier this summer. People were surprised I wasn't more upset when I first found out about them but they really make a much better couple than he and I ever did. I'm really happy for them.
Jay - This guy was the worst and, looking back, I can truly say that the only reason we were together is because we were there. As in, we were both living in a strange city and the only people we knew were the 50+ crowd we worked with. We dated for almost a year and then I moved back to NJ and we was going to grad school in DC. A few days after our respective moves he broke up with me claiming 'we were just in different' places blah blah blah. Shortly after that he is back in Chicago hooking up with the girl who chased him throughout our relationship, the girl he always referred to as'The Troll'. Recently he posted their engagement pictures on Facebook and it made me want to do all kinds of psycho ex-girlfriend things. However, I rose above, kept my dignity, and took consolation in that he is very fat now.
Bonus Round!
I dated John off and on all throughout high school. He was literally the boy next door, my best friend and my first love. We broke up one final time our senior year and he started dating a very good friend of mine. This is the bonus round and cannot be counted in the list above because he never proposed to her, but they dated for 8 or 9 years.
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